I know what you are. I now understand what it is that you do. I have identified my mistakes in dealing with you in the past, and I now know how to deal with you. I now understand why I coped the way I did, in fact, the whole ordeal was so terribly ordinary (and so well documented) in it’s class that I’m wondering what took me so long to see it. I think that part of the problem was that I was approaching it from the wrong angle from the get-go.

This moment feels like stepping back and seeing the whole picture after so much time of placing pieces in a 10,000-piece puzzle. The moment where you step back and see the whole picture. Of *course* that’s the picture, how silly it was that I couldn’t see it in the sections I had been putting together for so long. It can’t be unseen, even if I went back and scrutinized the individual parts as they were I could never be as confused as before, I will always know where those pieces fit in and what part of the picture they are making.

I’m ready to finish healing now.

I’m removing potential WP spammers from my site’s members list. I’m pretty sure who I’m removing are spammers, but if you find you are unable to login I may have inadvertently removed you, use the “Contact me!” page and let me know if this is a problem.

Spent New Year’s Eve ripping the carpet off the stairs up to the 2nd floor landing. looks SOOO much better, although I still have a bunch of carpet staples I need to remove (not to worry, nothing that can be stepped on), the facing needs to be painted now (painted around the carpet, weren’t they clever..) and I’ll be retouching the stair wood and putting down a fresh coat of minwax or something once the girls are away long enough that it can dry.

Opened up Fallout 3 last night, good fun, and what a time vortex! I haven’t made it out of Megaton yet but I’m already having a blast talking to people.. and it helps, just like in BioShock, that the people are people and not zombies.. although there are radioactivity-enhance giant ants.

The battle system’s pretty interesting though, I’m wondering where my encumbrance modifier is, and am pretty sure I’ll go through many broken weapons before I remember to repair them. I was never really interested in the Fallout series because the previous games were like DragonWarrior with RTS in there for good measure and I patently suck at RTS.. this change to RPG+FPS seems to have done it some good. The voice acting’s pretty good too, it’s almost as if Bethesda had time and money on their side for the production of Fallout 3.. sometimes Time + Money = Great Games!

still working out the kinks, cut me some slack.